Natural Hair Journey - The Big Chop

Transitioning style

On January 6, 2012 I had my last perm. I had decided a few months earlier that I would allow my natural hair to grow out. I was about two months into the process when I had a change of heart. This was influenced by plans I had to attend a formal dinner that evening. I hadn't learnt anything about caring for my hair as yet and couldn't figure out a way to fix my hair that would be appropriate for the occasion. So I permed my hair.

Admittedly even after that last perm I was still on the fence about going natural. In my mind this was a phase I was going through and at any minute I could decide to go back to what I was used to - hair permed straight. As the months went on it became even more frustrating. I've never been one big on combing hair so although I read and educated myself about caring for my kinky hair as well as created a portfolio of different transition styles I could try, the process was frustrating. I hated this phase. I hated dealing with the two textures. I didn't remember what my hair looked like natural and as the new growth came up I became even more uncertain. There was just one big mass of confusion beneath the stringy remnants of permed hair.

The big chop: 1 year before and the after

My intention was to grow my hair out until it was a reasonable length before I cut off the relaxed ends. It was hell to deal with. One faithful day - on 1 June 2012 - after returning home from church I looked in the mirror and I hated what I saw. I wrestled with two thoughts - cut off the permed ends or go for a relaxer as soon as night fell. The battle was fierce as the latter option had the most convincing arguments. My hair was lovely when relaxed. A few years earlier I had decided to grow my hair out rather than cut it after every perm and it was beautiful. People loved my hair and I loved people loving my hair. I loved my relaxed hair!!!!!!!

The natural me

However, I chose the first. That same evening, before the devil could convince me otherwise with his sweet lies, I took scissors and hacked off the relaxed ends. It was liberating!!! And I loved it. As I introduced my adult self to the natural self I'd lost touch with I realized that no amount of perm, makeup, add-ons or subtractions could make me beautiful. I was already gorgeous. My hair is just an accessory!

Natural Hair Journey - The Big Chop  © 2014 S.L.Lawrence - The content appearing on this blog is the exclusive copyright of S.L. Lawrence and should not be copied or reproduced without the explicit written consent of the copyright owner.